Happy 2018 everyone! The blog has been a bit of a dead zone lately which I apologize for, but life has been super hectic! I’m in the process of getting my real estate license which meant long nights of class until 11 p.m. (like when do I ever stay up that late?) Also, I have been doing some freelance tutoring and book editing which also has eaten up a lot of time, especially with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. But, now a week into the new year, I am committing to posting at least once a week because I truly feel like writing is good for my soul.
So for my first post of the new year I want to talk about sucking at parenting. Seriously, no need for platitudes of “You’re doing great,” because face it, as moms, we all feel like we suck: all…the…time. The thing that makes me feel most like crap is thinking I am choosing my job (or money) over the Monsters. I work a lot and have a fascination with putting more and more side hustles on my plate every chance I get. The other day I found myself looking for babysitting jobs at night for no good reason at all. I think struggling with money when I was a child has created a sort of life long panic in me to constantly seek out extra money. Anyway, over Christmas break, I actually was home every day with the girls which was probably the first time in ages that I had a large chunk of home time with them. One day we were playing Clue and Lea Monster struggled to read a fairly simple word on one of the cards. In that moment I realized I probably haven’t sat and read with her in a solid month (big shout out and sorry to her first grade teacher: I know I am the worst parent at those reading logs you send home.) I find myself making constant excuses at night that I am busy or tired or need to clean something, but frankly that is one thing: bullshit! Let me tell you what I do find time for:
- Watching endless YouTube videos
- Scrolling Buzzfeed like it has something of value to say
- Watching crap TV
Yes, I am a busier mom than most, but I 100% take so much time for nonsense that it has made me a less than present parent. It has to stop. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, but I am resolving to try to do better. That stuff that I spend my time doing to decompress will be there when the kids go to bed. That stuff and the excuses I make will haunt me when I’m an empty nester in the not so distant future.
So with that being said, I need to sign off for now. I have some very exciting work on the digestive system to do with Zoe and some math homework (eww) to do with Lea. Here’s to trying in 2018!